Spy planes should target terrorists, not tractor thieves/February 2nd 2010

Richie - A spy-plane might have prevented a disturbing incident in our village. Mad Mick, the village pub's toilet cleaner, who has been brain-damaged since birth and lives in a shed on the edge of the forest, was apprehended over the weeked after a major terror alert. It seems that Mick fell under the spell of the extreme Right Wing and his shed became a shrine to cheeky chappie Nick Griffin. But after an explosion on Saturday it transpired that the shed was in fact a bomb factory, Mick believing that Britain was on the verge of civil war. It seems that two frisky squirrels gained entry and their amorous behaviour caused enough friction to ignite a quantity of gunpowder. A ragged and bemused Mick was arrested while ten thousand posters of his idol, which were being stored for the general election, fell, confetti-like, into the village duck pond, scaring many local children in the process. The posters have now been pulped and turned into paper logs for the unemployed. Mad in GB's UK!