'If you've been called a Scottish sociopath, please press three...'/February 22nd 2010

Richie - Our pub landlord, Big Frank, a former hard nut in the BNP now converted to green issues and saving bunny wabbits from the lab, held the first General Election knees-up over the weekend. Titled Dave Cameron Night regulars were asked to turn up as the Tory leader. And what fun we had! Arthur Groat, octogenarian spoon-playing virtuoso of these parts, arrived in Bullingdon top hat and tales, while our happy-clappy Reverend affected a cut glass Eton accent and sang the boat song. Marcia Braithwaite, from the am-dram group, showed off her dart skills, while Big Frank sank seven pints of guinness then collapsed in a heap and watched Sky plus in a daze! To finish off, we all called the National Bullying Helpline and sobbed that the PM had beat up the country for 13 yrs by giving out generous fuel allowances, a minimum wage and, even worse, saved the economy from collapse. The night ended wth us chasing Mrs Bob No 3, who was dressed as a fox, into the forest. Mad in GB's UK, innit!