Mandelson to run the Jubilee? God save the Queen!/January 8th 2010

Richie - At a recent meeting in the snug of our local it was decided that a party will be held on the village green to celebrate Her Madge's Jubilee. Chairing the meeting was a well known member of the aristocracy and prominent Tory Turnip of these parts Lord Barking-Tulley. The local hunt, he suggested, would take pride of place in the festivities and demonstrate their art by chasing down the chavs from the nearby estate. The vegetable grower's association has volunteered to lay on an exhibition of their prize produce, the veg reared in poly-tunnels and nurtured by recordings of Littlejohn's columns. Highlight of the day will be the unveiling of the cryogenically-preserved body of Lord Barking-Tulley senior whose dying wish was to be re-heated when "the natural order of things have been restored". I believe talks are already underway to cast the re-enlivened Lord as Danny in the operatic society's anniversary production of Grease with Mrs Bob No 3 as Sandy. Mad in GB's UK, innit!