It's raining, it's pouring, that'll be the global warming.../June 12th 2012.

Richie - Unelected Shameron's army of Nannies have been pestering good honest folk around these parts. First, Middle Class Moira the community fat-watch officer burst into the snug just before the England match with her fresh-faced 5-a-day co-ordinators to admonish us regulars over the size of our corsages and promote healthy eating and exercise. Needless to say Moira was well and truly ridiculed. She eventually called it a day when Arthur Groat let rip as he followed her stretching routine and she scarpered for fresh air pronto! But that wasn't the end of it! Yesterday local schoolchildren, including my grandson Bob Roberts jnr, were forced to listen to one of plummy-mouthed Gove's education ministers map out the latest useless scheme to educate our kids, including learning poetry by rote! Well, young Bob promptly got up and recited the Red Flag, the Internationale and John Cooper Clarke's wonderful "Chickentown". Note to Gove: Stick that in your Tory pipe and smoke it I say (Hic!)