'Wanna buy a cheap sheep for supper?' How meat theft and rustling are making a comeback in these austere times/April 23rd 2012.

Richie - Would you Adam and Eve it! I looked through my french windows this morning and saw a Lesser Spotted Right Wing Windbag staring at me! Well, as a wet behind the ears liberal, Old Wob didn't consider blasting it with a shotgun. Instead I opened the frenchies and invited the creature in. As you know the Lesser Spotted Right Wing Windbag carries about its personage a foul odour and miserable angry demenour, fuming and dribbling at all and sundry. But its a scientific fact the species is really pining for love and affection and before long it was rolling on its back having its tummy and nether regions well and truly tickled! But in payment for my good nature the 2-faced creature deposited a mound of steaming effluence on my Wilton carpet and was subsequently booted out pronto! Last I saw it had crawled into next door's wheelie bin, it's natural habitat or so I'm told, and came to a messy end when a cleansing operative failed to check inside and chucked it in the masher! Mad I say!