Good evening, I'm from Ethics, in case you couldn't tell!/January 13th 2012.

Richie - How right you are to wax lyrical about the heroic men and women from our esteemed newspapers who risk life and liver to bring us the latest about Fergie's shenanigans, Giggsy's deceptions and Imogen's unselfish knockers! Where would the great British public be without this daily dose of gossip n hearsay ? In fact, Rich, it was Young Wob's greatest disappointment that he didn't cut the mustard as a journo and strive to become Britain's bestest columnist like what you are. Aged 16, employed by the Cum-to-Piddle Blower as a trainee reporter, I was sent on my first journalistic mission to file a piece about a wayward moggie who was stuck up a tree. Little did I know but the moggie in question belonged to a high ranking minister and, after a day's investigation at his country pile, we put the paper to bed with the headline TORY MP PINES FOR LOST PERSIAN PUSSY whereupon the editor was sacked and Old Wob told he'd never file another sentence in a British newspaper again! Mad I say!