The Eurovision crisis? It's all Greek to me, innit!/May 21st 2012.

Richie - We here in the Worcestershire village of Cum-to-Piddle raised a snifter in honour of your stunning victory in the Herbert Mulch Right-Wing Windbag of the Year Award! Thoroughly deserved, I say! Your contribution to Right Wing Windbaggerism is indeed second to non, sir! One wonders how you find the time to dash off two thoroughly researched articles per week in between watching endless box sets of classic British comedy from the 70s & 80s - articles which educate and inform the great British public about fascinating subjects such as wheelie bins, high-viz jackets, and how Labour and the Unions are to blame for all the world's ills! You have, Lord Richie, transformed into an art form the ability to avoid any mention of how the Dirty Aussie Digger turned this great nation into a servile Stasi-like state and your famous "soft-touch" journalism, which dare not take to task the bonkers Thatcherites who have over the years destroyed our industrial heritage, is nothing short of a master class for future Right Wing Windbags to behold! So, three cheers for Bwitain's Bestest Columnist I say! Hic Hic! (Fart!)