Freeze! Or the guide dog gets it/October 19th 2012.

Richie - Would you Adam n Eve it! Unemployment down AGAIN in the middle of a recession! Well, Old Wob and the other regulars in the village snug have been busy all week trying to work out this particular conundrum! "Perhaps Iain Dunkin Donut is a genius" said Arthur Groat, octogenarian spoon-player of these parts, as he supped his half a mild. "Maybe Labour has got it all wrong" said local burlesque queen Marcia Braithwaite, her heaving chest casting a shadow over her ploughman's lunch. "The harsh Tory medicine must be working" said Dr Singh as he cleared an area near the bar and unravelled his prayer mat. Then bingo - it clicked! "Perhaps the Nasty party is forcing people into part time, non-pensionable non-jobs and subsidising the private sector with billions of pounds of taxpayers money!" I said. Well, Rich, we all breathed a sigh of relief and moved on to more difficult puzzles, namely the Tories' omnishambles regarding energy bills! Mad in Sham Cam n Cleggy's bwoken Bwitain innit! (Hic!)