Careful with those arrows – you’ll have somebody's eye out!/October 16th 2012.

Richie - Old Wob was up with the lark this morning wearing his best mankini and putting in a few last minute circuits of the duck pond before Sunday's Birmingham half marathon. Never one to shirk a challenge I've put myself forward to raise much needed funds for local charities who are suffering after cuts instigated by our vile unelected Coagulation of the gormless government. Needless to say, Old Wob hasn't done much exercise since primary school when I used to chase Marcia Braithwaite round the canteen but you'll be pleased to know that I've been putting in the hard work every day for a whole week so I'm confident of running this popular race in double-quick time. Only thing, Rich, is that I get the occasional problem with chafing around the tender areas. Local farmer Arthur Groat gave me some of his home-made ointment in the snug and I must say it was surprisingly soothing until I discovered the main ingredient was pig dung! That'll keep Mo Farah and the elite runners in their place when I break from the front, eh Rich ? (Hic!)