PortaShrine - ideal for all your instant grief needs!/March 23rd 2012.

Richie - How we guffawed and tittered at the thought of all the yoghurt-knitting Lefties complaining about Tuesday's article in which you rightly moan about the goodwill shown by ordinary folk to Patrice Muamba. And it makes an Englishman proud, Lord Richie, to see you today mounting a sterling defence of your esteemed column! Why, it put me in mind of Shakespeare 'imself when, in one of the plays what he wrote, he scribbled the immortal line "The lady doth protest too much". But I must say the coup de grace is your inspired idea for a Portashrine! Genius sir! Genius I say! And why not a Porta-Right-Wing-Windbag to accompany the Portashrine to those not-so-sacred sites for murdered prozzies! The mechanical Windbag (batteries included) would be guaranteed to cause a grade 1 stink with its wilted prose, tatty research and badly written claptrap! "Up yours" it would wheeze. "The tarts were never gonna find a cure for cancer!" Why, you and Kelvin McKenzie could flog millions I say (Hic!)