Coalition Airways - this one was never going to fly/March 15th 2012.

Richie - Would you Adam and Eve it! Mrs Bob No 3 and myself experienced pre-flight turbulence at Heathrow airport en route to gay Paree for a recent weekend of sightseeing and ohh la la. Old Wob was summarily pulled over by over zealous security and forced to undergo a humiliating search after the scanner went beserk and regurgitated my baggage. All of my hand luggage was explored in full view of other passengers and I must say the security wallahs took great pleasure in holiding up my spandex as well as the gels, sprays and boxes of setting perm that holds my comb-over in place! As you can imagine, Rich, Old Wob was fuming especially when no reason could be found for the disruption. "I'll be writing to Lord Littlejohn. Britain's bestest columnist, about this gross intrusion of my yuman rights" I boomed to which the security staff tittered and said: "No one listens to that right-wing windbag anyway" before emptying out my luggage once again! It's mad in ShamCam n Cleggy's loony Britain I say!