What we saw yesterday was nothing less than a cynical coup attempt.../May 1th 2010.

Richie - After a night doing the conga in Big Frank's snug to celebrate the Tory defeat, I assumed my secret Tory identity (dress, wig and fishnets) and met up with local Turnip activists in an upmarket winery. Surprisingy my new Tory chums, Tarquin, Henrietta, Rupert and Lady Mimsy, were in good spirits. "The plan from HQ is to do a deal with the sandal-wearers" giggled Rupert. "Yes - Cam will offer them a sniff of electoral reform and then shaft the blighters when they least expect it!" roared Tarquin. Lady Mimsy, slurping gin, said: "I can't wait for Cam to overturn the hunting ban! Perhaps he'll extend it to include cats and bunny wabbits too!" Henrietta looked solemn as she explained they may have to sacrifice hunting to do a deal with Lib-Dems. "But don't worry - you'll have plenty to occupy your time doing charity work in Dave's Super Duper Big New Society" but by this time Lady Mims had already had a seizure at the prospect of getting her hands dirty. Mad in ShamCam's UK innit!