Does anyone fancy getting stuck in a lift with Gordon?/March 22nd 2010

Richie - Tuesday morning and Ma Roberts, my fiesty 74 yr old Tory activist mom, finally slings her golf clubs into the boot of her ancient Rover, lights a cigarello, and heads back to the shires. To be frank it's been a harrowing week. She spent much of her time railing against "Dippy" D Cameron for trying to impose a young, prof, female candidate on her local party. And her mood was thunderous when SamCam's racy pics appeared. "Can you imagine Maggie doing such a thing ?" she wailed, and the very thought of the odious Margaret draped seductively over a chaise-longue almost brought up my Co-co Pops in double quick time! So you'd have thought news of the Cameron pregnancy would have met with Ma's approval. Not a chance! "Now CMD is using his wife's uterus to nab a few votes" she snarled. "It's enough to make you vote for Gollum Brown" and for the first time in 50 years Richie I experienced - for a fleeting sec - the warm, tender, loving bond that can exist between a mother and son!