Call this a traffic jam minister ? You should get out more often/March 16th 2010

Richie - Friday evening a familiar antique Rover appears and out gets Ma Roberts, 74 year old blue rinse mother to yours truly, who announces she's up from the shires to enjoy a Mother's Day weekend with all the trimmings. Ma Roberts is a dyed in the wool Tory activist of many years standing but it soon becomes apparent that all is not well in her particular Tory coven. Over dinner she tells me: "That wimp Cameron is trying to force on us his own candidate. He wants to install some hippie poppet from London and we're jolly well not having it, I say! I refuse to campaign for the Tories while he's leader!" Later I take her to our village local and she's soon having a knees-up with the regulars. It's then I have the quite brilliant idea to confiscate the election posters in the boot of her car and pulp them to make filler for the pot-holes that have appeared in the roads around our village! And guess what, you can forget tarmacadam, Richie - pulped CMD works a treat! All councils take note, I say!