Stable door security panic hands victory to the bad guys/December 30th 2009

Richie - My Thai mother-in-law caused all manner of havoc on her arrival in the UK for her first ever Xmas visit. Her brass finger-cymbals, which she uses when performing traditional Thai folk songs, set off the airport metal detector whereupon a small army of the country's anti-terror police swung into action. Unfortunately, despite my best efforts, her cymbals were not confiscated on grounds of national security and the snug in our village local echoed to her high-pitched wailing for much of the festive season. She went down a storm and has even formed a double-act with 91 year old Arthur Groat, spoon-playing virtuoso of these parts, their version of The Jam's Eton Rifles being particularly well received. Last I heard they'd shacked up together and applied to audition for next year's X-Factor. It all proved too much for yours truly and I spent Xmas curled up on the back seat of my Jag with a bottle of single malt. Mad in New Labour's Britain, innit!