Come on, Myleene, put that knife down!/January 12th 2010

Richie - I was shuffling to my comfy chair after breakfast on Sunday when Mrs Roberts No 3 commanded me to take her to church. She has developed a rather unhealthy interest in the C of E of late and especially Archbishop Williams whose heavenly vowels and Worzel Gummage appearance send her, for some strange reason, into a schoolgirl swoon. Eventually I agreed on condition that we'd escape in good time for a snifter or three in the pub. Surprise surprise, church was fun! Our happy clappy Reverend put on a first class show that included a communal karaoke of U2 hits, lasers, dry ice, and touchy-feely hugs and kisses all round. The only blemish was when his calls for universal love drew the wrath of a few Tory Turnips sitting at the back. "It's our yuman right to kill, maim and injure on private property" they yelled. Despite this the good Rev. joined us in the snug and was last seen lifting his skirts doing the can-can after two halves of bitter shandy! Mad in GBs UK innit!