Run for your life — it’s the Nonce Finder General/November 9th 2012.

Richie - As a dedicated socialist, small businessman, Labour activist and all round Obama fan of these parts, Old Wob was invited dahn to the smoke in order to celebrate the great man's re-election with Democrats Abroad, a fine, upstanding organisation comprising many well-heeled Obama supporters based in the UK. And so, kitted out in a new whistle and flute, and with the Roberts comb-over neatly in place, I hot-footed it to a swanky West End hotel to dance into the early hours with our Democratic cousins from across the Pond. Unfortunately, I lubricated myself with too many pre-party snifters and, jumping in the taxi at King's Cross, told the driver to to take me pronto to the Yanks Abroad post-election do. When asked which colour I supported I naturally said red, forgetting that the political colours in the US election are reversed from our own. I walked in to the hotel singing Obama's praises and "4 more years" only to realise that I'd been dropped at the GOP post election wake and was surrounded by assorted misogynists, gun-toting fruitcakes, racists, homophobes and all manner of lunatics in between, whereupon Old Wob turned into Worcester's Usain Bolt and made a hasty getaway! Mad I say! (Hic!)