Put your trousers on, Worzel... you're nicked/November 16th 2012.

Richie - I was snoozing in my comfy chair when I was awoken by a strange and unsettlingly loud whirring noise coming from the direction of the garden. Well, I put on my safety glasses and rolled up my copy of the DM for protection and proceeded in an orderly manner outside to see what all the fuss was about. Would you Adam n Eve it, Rich, I was confronted by the sight of a police helicopter landing adjacent to my vegetable patch! After the rotor blades had spun their course out jumped a couple of plods tooled up to the hilt and brandishing automatic weapons. I was about to complain in the boldest terms about this invasion of my privacy when one of the plods alerted me that a vile journalist was on the loose poking his red-top nose into hard working people's bins in persuit of saucy tittle-tattle to fill up the pages of his rag. Needless to say our heroic plod nabbed the critter within minutes and hauled him into the boot of their chopper. The sooner Leverson clamps down on these feral journos the better I say!