Why decent folk deserve better from cops who let yobs run amok/September 23rd 2010.

Richie - I was lying in bed last night enjoying a pleasant game of I-Spy with Mrs Bob No 3 when I was alerted to an unholy commotion coming from the direction of the village duck pond. With health and safety in mind I put on my safety goggles and armed myself with a rolled up copy of the DM before venturing out. Imagine my consternation when I saw three figures who I identified as Margaret Thatcher, Ronald Reagan and General Augusto Pinochet engaging in foul and lewd anti-social behaviour! It transpired the three figures were, in fact, young members of the Tory Party who had been on a boisterous fancy-dress night out to celebrate the upcoming public sector cuts. I tried my best to temper their outrageous behaviour but was greeted with abuse, including shouts of "Peasant!" "Vermin!" and "Oik!" Eventually, I rang the police who, I'm pleased to say, arrived pronto and gave the noisome threesome a bit of "how's your father" (nudge, nudge, wink, wink! which was no more than they deserved I say!