Be careful what you wish for, Batman!/September 14th 2010.

Richie - My old friend Dave Salt, trades union stalwart and Labour veteran from oop north, paid me a visit en route to the comrades conference. "The Tories want to impose drastic cuts for purely ideological reasons" he said as we chatted over a snifter or three. "They're using the defecit as a smokescreen to drive down ordinary workers' pay and conditions. It's an unelected govt that doesn't represent the voters of this country and there's gonna be trouble, Bob - big trouble." I pointed Dave in the direction of your esteemed column, Richie, in order to offer an unbiased, more balanced view of the situation. "Littlejohn is balanced! Don't make me laugh!" he snorted. "I remember that old windbag when he was desperate to become a Labour MP. He got the hump because the comrades thought he was a lightweight and has been moaning about it ever since!" Needless to say, Richie, I showed the insolent braggard the door. How dare these vile lefties insult this country's answer to Tolstoy, I say!