Give lie detector tests to MPs, not taxpayers/September 21st 2010.

Richie - I was snoozing in my comfy chair when I was awoken by the piercing laugh of my Thai wife, Mrs Bob No 3, who was perusing your esteemed column. "Littlewon - he so fanny!" she giggled and pointed to the photos of Bob Crow and neanderthal man. "See, Wob - Littlewon and his brother!" I tried to explain that the photos were not of Richie and his brother but of a well known trades union leader who Littlejohn, with the help of some dotty Oxford professor, had likened to a cave man. Mrs Bob looked puzzled. "Why he do that, Wob ?" "Because, my sweetness, union leaders like Bob Crow want to protect the pay and conditions of workers whereas Tory Boy Littlejohn wants to drive down wages to third world levels and put an end to universal benefits and the minimum wage." Mrs Bob scratched her head and pointed out that by advocating a dog-eat-dog society in which people were left to fend for themselves Littlejohn had far more in common with Neanderthal Man than Bob Crow! "Oxford prof not werry bright!" she said and went off to cook one of her delicious insect based Thai curries! Mad innit!