Need a lesson in economics, Alan? Try starting with Mr Micawber/January 10th 2011.

Richie - It is with great sadness that I report the passing of Ernest Groat, father of octagenarian spoon-playing virtuoso Arthur Groat. Old Ernie, who reached his centenary a good few years back, was a farmer, skin-flint, and whippet-whisperer renowned for his down-to-earth manner and dry as dust wit. Each day he'd hobble to the village duck pond to make sure all was spick and span before taking his seat in the snug and enjoying a snifter or three as he put the world to rights. But from May Ernie's cheerful demeanour slowly ebbed away as the vile CONDEM govts attacks on ordinary working people gathered pace. And yesterday, as lilly-livered PM ShamCam caved in on bankers' bonuses, Ernie took a sudden turn for the worse. He finally passed away this morning after reading your esteemed column, Richie. His final words were: "Oh sweet lord have mercy on my soul - I just can't take any more of Littlejohn's Tory propaganda bulls*** !" RIP Ernie I say! Your wisdom and insight will be missed!