Happy New Year! And what do you think of it so far ?/January 3rd 2011.

Richie - As Mrs Bob No 3 and myself were about to descend into our nuclear bunker so as to escape the upcoming riots, VAT increases, fuel hikes and misery inflicted on us by the vile CONDEM govt, my mother arrived unexpectedly from the shires in a state of great distress. Her Land Rover, I noticed, was packed with suitcases and toiletries - always a bad sign - and I waited in nervous anticipation for an explanation. "Bob" she wailed. "It's all over! After 50 years as a member I've finally left the Tory party in protest at the savage cuts imposed on pensioners. What's more" she snivelled "I've sold my flat and come to stay with you for a few months. Tell the maid to put my bags in my room, will you!" After a few snifters she at last calmed herself and I promised to help find her a new political party to join. Of course, as a frothing Tory fruitcake she loathes Nigel Farage and UKIP, hates Griffin and the BNP, and despises Labour with all of her being, so there's only one alternative: Monster Raving Loony Party here she comes I say!