With Labour, there ain't no Sanity Clause/June 14th 2011.

Richie - I was snoozing in my comfy chair when I was awoken by my dear Thai wife Mrs Bob No 3 "Wob" she said. "Littlewon use big word today I no understand!" I yawned and perused your esteemed column with my index finger until Mrs Bob yelled "Stop!" at the word tricoteuse. Well, I delved back into my schoolboy French and vaguely recalled that the literal translation is knitter. But, having read the context in which the word had been used, I became certain there was a more sinister meaning. I discovered that it was also used as a name for women who frequented public executions during the French Revolution. "Ah" said Mrs Bob. "So Yvette Cooper she like to see executions!" Er, not quite, I said. "The UK is a civilised country. There are no public executions here." All very confusing. Then I remembered - Yvette Cooper is a LABOUR politician and therefore fair game for any derogatory insult, unlike the Tories who you continually cluck and fawn over like an old mother poule. At last - mystery solved! Snifters all round I say!