It's yet another fine mess as councils fight dog dirt menace/August 20th 2010.

Richie - This morning my precocious 10 year old grandson was busy doing his mock-Oxbridge entrance exams when I suggested he take a break, enjoy a soda-pop and read your esteemed column. You see having declared his intention to become Britain's Labour PM in the year 2050 I've been keen to engage him in the great issues of the day. After giving your column the once over he looked up and snorted: "Blimey, grandad - this Littlejohn bloke is on to a good thing! A few hundred words about dog poo, the usual Blair, BBC and plod-bashing...and you say he's paid a fortune for writing this garbage ?" As usual, Richie, I defended your honour. "Lord Littlewon is one of this country's foremost thinkers" I said. "Well" said Bob jnr "when I'm PM I'm going to appoint him Head Poo Cleaner of the UK's parks and pavements. It's about time serial moaners like him stepped up to the plate I reckon!" and before I could answer young Bob had skipped off to play PMQs with the girl next door. Kids today eh Rich?