Sack the sniffer wardens - not soldiers or cops/March 4th 2011.

Richie - I've just returned from Barnsley oop north after helping Labour give a bloody nose to Calamity Clegg and the vile unelected Sorry I Haven't A Clue govt. Whilst there I popped round to see my old chum Dave Salt, Trades Union activist and George Formby impersonator extraordinaire, who's busy planning a few Days of Rage in the capital. Whilst stoking the fire and dipping our lard cakes into our brew old Dave perused your esteemed column before chucking the DM into the flames "where it belongs". "I don't know about you, Bob, but it's the lazy, tax-evading journos who need to be culled, not coppers and squaddies putting their lives on the line." Well, I defended your honour, Richie, and said that you were feeling the squeeze just like everyone else. Why, I said, after 40 years hard graft poor Lord Littlewon has only just scraped together enough cash to buy a replacement bed! But Dave wasn't listening - he was too busy barking "Cleggy! Cleggy! Cleggy! Out! Out! Out!" with his army of Trotskyite whippets! Mad I say!