Happy Christmas, now call off the war on Christians/December 24th 2010.

Richie - Taking inspiration from the Telegraph's intrepid band of teenage journalists I borrowed one of Mrs Bob's wigs, slipped into an XXL festive frock and fishnets, and infiltrated the local Tory party Xmas knees up held in an 80s wine bar. My daring undercover operation was to find out the true state of our Coaliton govt. and what I discovered, Rich, was shocking! Tarquin, a merchant winker, dismissed the Lib Dems as a bunch of "pink commie hoes"; Rupert, a company director, said that Clegg couldn't be trusted to send in the army when the anti-cut riots kicked off next year; and Lady Mimsy Fullerton-Breakwater, the local treasurer, said all Lib Dems should be excluded from govt because they didn't know how to hold a fish knife properly! However, I had to escape pronto when the inebriated chairman, attracted to my chest hair, popped one of my latex falsies and rumbled my disguise causing old Wob Boberts to flee down Worcester high street to shouts of "Vile Labour filth!" Mad I say!