Kelly Brook and the jihad seekers' allowance/August 2nd 2011.

Richie - We've just returned from a two week caravan holiday in Bridlington, courtesy of a super soaraway Sun holiday voucher! And what a fun first week we had! Long snoozes on the pier, chip butties and tea on the sands, evening snifters in the pavilions, Mrs Bob spending my hard-earned like it was going out of fashion...But sadly things went downhill during week 2. A party of Scandinavians peeled off one fine day and incurred the wrath of local puritans who marched to the beach pronto with their little black books singing hymns about the terrors of the flesh! Needless to say, I put up a stern defence for allowing these Nordic beauties to display their ample assets to which the church-goers labelled me a perv and said my soul would burn for eternity in the hot-place! It all ended very unpleasantly, Rich, with fisticuffs at dawn and Wob placed in the cells for an afternoon. It's about time all these religious fruitcakes were cast off on a boat with a 1-way ticket to the promised land I say!