Happy families? No, another miscarriage of justice/July 4th 2011.

Richie - I was snoozing in my comfy chair when Mrs Bob No 3, my dear Thai wife, said the words that send a shiver down every honest fellow's spine. "Wob" she said. "I want likkle baby and I want likkle baby NOW!" Well, for the past few months old Wob has huffed and puffed without result and concluded that something must be wrong with Mrs Bob's internal fertility organs. But Mrs Bob didn't agree with my inexpert analysis and made an appointment with Dr Singh for a second opinion. Lo and behold, Rich, it transpires that old Wob's spermatozoa is of a particular type -Type Zzzzz. "Your sperm is so lazy that they simply turn over and go to sleep whenever I peer down my microscope into the petri-dish!" said our good doctor and signed me up to a healthy eating and exercise regime to rectify the problem. Meanwhile, after reading today's esteemed column, energetic Mrs Bob has booked a flight to Nigeria to buy fertility pills while I'm looking more gaunt, pale and anxious by the day! Mad I say!