Duck and duchesse potatoes for me, Fernando, and just a rocket salad for the bride-to-be.../February 11th 2011.

Richie - I was snoozing in my comfy chair when Mrs Bob No 3 and her gaggle of playmates arrived at Castle Roberts to carry out rehearsals for the upcoming operatic society's spring production. The original plan, a version of Hello Dolly set in the Gorbals, has been scrapped and replaced by a new work called Dopey Dave's Big Society, written and directed by happy clappy Rev Pritchard. The musical is set in a post-apocalyptic Britain that has been decimated by spending cuts. The vile medieval thought-police persecute minorities and imprison single mothers and the unemployed are forced to work in global corporations for slave wages. Of course I did my best to ignore the screetching and wailing that passes for singing these days until it was announced that the Rev had written me a cameo role! I play a washed-up Right-wing columnist, government apologist and self-appointed windbag of the people named Dickie! How does our talented Rev think up these wonderful fictional characters I wonder ?